Shifty

Well we are down to single digit numbers on the countdown to the cruise.  That’s right – a week from Thursday we are hittin the road on our way to New Jersey for a 9 day and night vacation to the Caribbean.  Now my friends, who shall remain nameless, have already packed for this special occasion.  Some have been packed for months!  I don’t know about you, but I don’t own that many clothes.  I can’t see myself living off two pairs of underwear for a month or two while the rest of my skibbies sit freshly packed away.  Those would be two offensive pairs of panties!  I can, however, start packing my summer clothes since one can actually now see the steam rise outside when you think no one is looking and toot.  I don’t think I even have to explain exactly how I know these things – I just do.  If it gets any colder outside, my eyelids will freeze shut.  This is why I walk to my car with them half open.  This way they are, in part, protected from the bitter wind, but can still help me distinguish where I’m going.  It’s a win-win situation even though I look rather shifty.  Try it – squint your eyes and try not to look mischievous.  It can’t be done!  I’m sitting here at my desk trying to do just that as people struggle not to notice.  The sad thing is they’re probably thinking to themselves, “oh that poor girl needs glasses…oh wait…she’s wearing glasses…that must not be a good prescription.”  As I said – mischievous.  Now people think my glasses aren’t strong enough for my eyes, when really I just wanted to sit here and pretend I was out walking in the cold.  Speaking of things that can’t be done, have you ever tried to lick your elbow?  I have multiple times.  I don’t know if one day I just magically think I’ll be able to bend my arm that far or what.  A sad confession, I know, but one you either just did too or are sitting there thinking seriously about doing.  *squints eyes*  Aha…shifty yet again.